It is a dreary day as I write this here in the UK, April showers are in full swing. The sky outside is grey and uninviting, the rain persistent. But despite the bleak view from the window, my mood is anything but. There is still warmth indoors, things to enjoy, and plenty of moments to be grateful for.
And in many ways, that reminds me of aging.
For those over 65, growing older can sometimes feel like living under a grey sky, aches and pains, health concerns, and changes in ability can cloud the view. But just like the weather, while we may not be able to control every challenge that comes with age, we can choose how we respond to it.
At Comfort Plus, our vision is to make retirement the most enjoyable chapter of life, not something to endure, but something to embrace. But to do that, we must sometimes step outside our comfort zone, even if it means getting a little wet in the rain.
This brings us to this edition of The Independence Guide:
Aging and Stubbornness: Understanding Why Change is Hard
If you have ever tried to suggest a new routine, home support, or a helpful piece of equipment to an older loved one, and been met with a firm “No,” you are not alone.
It is easy to label this as stubbornness, but what is really going on underneath the surface?
Why Change Can Feel Difficult
Maintaining Control: As life changes around us, holding on to familiar routines and habits gives a strong sense of control. Saying no can be a way to protect independence.
Fear of Dependence: Accepting help, whether it is physical assistance, mobility aids, or changes to the home can feel like admitting to a loss of capability.
Emotional Attachment: Objects, routines, and surroundings hold memories. Altering them can feel like letting go of the past.
Cognitive Effort: As we age, adapting to new ideas or routines can take more mental energy. It is not about unwillingness, but about cognitive fatigue and comfort in the familiar
How to Gently Encourage Positive Change
So, how can we support older adults in making changes that improve their comfort and safety, while still honouring their sense of autonomy?
Lead with Empathy: Start conversations with understanding. Acknowledge their concerns and avoid trying to ‘fix’ things too quickly. “I know you have managed just fine until now, and I admire that. I just wonder if there is a way to make things a bit easier going forward.”
Frame the Change Around Their Priorities: Whether it is independence, staying at home, or enjoying time with grandchildren, link any suggestion to what matters most to them. “If this change could help you stay in your home comfortably for longer, would it be worth thinking about?”
Use Stories, Not Instructions: Share real examples from friends or family who made small changes and benefitted. “Diane down the road tried something similar and said she wished she had done it years ago, it just took the pressure off her back a little.”
Avoid Loaded Language: Words like “help,” “assistance,” or “support” can sometimes sound like loss. Try using words like “comfort,” “ease,” or “choices.”
Offer Options, Not Ultimatums: Give a sense of ownership over the decision. “Here are two ways we could approach this, do either of them feel right for you?”
Make It Temporary (at first): Suggest a trial period. “Let us just try this for a couple of weeks. If it does not feel right, we can rethink.”
Take It Slowly": Sometimes, it is about planting the seed and giving it time. Patience can be more effective than persuasion.Start conversations with understanding. Acknowledge their concerns and avoid trying to ‘fix’ things too quickly. “I know you have managed just fine until now, and I admire that. I just wonder if there is a way to make things a bit easier going forward.”
The Bigger Picture: Comfort, Independence and Quality of Life
Change does not always mean losing something, it can mean gaining comfort, peace of mind, and the freedom to keep doing what matters most.
Whether it is a new morning routine, rearranging a room for easier movement, accepting a little extra help with cooking, or exploring tools to support physical wellbeing, small changes can make a big difference.
At Comfort Plus, we believe that growing older should not mean giving up joy, confidence, or freedom. And we are here to help you, or your loved ones, explore what is possible.
If you would like advice, inspiration, or a conversation about how to stay comfortable and independent at home, we are just a phone call or email away. Get in touch.
